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View Full Version : Do NOT play Terrawars!


Spartan_234
09-10-2006, 09:55 PM
Right when I officially declared WWII Combat: Iwo Jima as the worst game ever made, I take a look at Terrawars: New York Invasion, a new, god-awful budget-priced game from newcoming developer Ladyluck Games. Why so many games have taken the throne for "worst game ever" this year is far beyond me, as I just recently replayed all the good games from the last couple of years (just to make sure I wasn't going crazy or anything) and found them all to be just as great as they ever were. Terrawars is without a doubt the worst game to ever see the light of day, and I'll be damned if there's ever an upcoming game that manages to be worse than this one. Honestly, Terrawars is the electronic equivalent of a huge chunk of alien crap.

Before I get started on how utterly "Terra-ble" this game is, I think I should go ahead and describe the storyline. To be honest, it's the most retarded storyline I have ever heard in a videogame. You're a medical student named John Armstrong, and medical students like you get extensive training in the Army National Guard...but why? The storyline would've been merely bad if you played as a generic Marine or whatever, but this comes off as a really embarassing attempt to break away from the standard-issue storyline of "you're a Space Marine and you must stop these aliens before they take over the Earth". Anyways, aliens have taken over New York City, with no backstory as to where they came from or why they came here, and you must stop the aliens before they destroy New York City. Who wants to bet that Uwe Boll will hire the person who wrote this storyline?

The biggest selling point of Terrawars is not anything innovative about the game, but rather, the fact that it runs on PCs from up to ten years ago. No, I'm not joking. Terrawars shows this selling point with eye-damaging graphics that seem like they came straight out of the days of DOS. Poor lighting, detail-challenged environments, severe collision detection problems, and an extremely ugly fog that limits the draw distance in outdoor levels make Terrawars the absolute worst-looking game my eyes will ever see. The audio is even worse. There's no music, the sound effects are really weak and randomly assigned, and the voice acting is atrocious.

The abysmal production values in Terrawars could've been forgiven if the gameplay was any fun. Sadly, the production values are easily the best part of the game. Buckle and tighten your seatbelts, folks, 'cause this is going to be a really bumpy ride...

1. If New York City was really this unattractive and poorly designed, then its population wouldn't be this high right now. Heck, I was in New York City in the early 90's, and from what I remember, it looked way better than how it's depicted in Terrawars. Indoor environments feel vacant and uninspired, even compared to actual office buildings and such.

2. Gameplay is extremely linear and scripted. Invisible walls always prevent you from going "where you're not supposed to be going", and the aliens have absolutely no AI. They always follow the exact same path every single time you play, and sometimes just stand in a fixed position.

3. In a completely unintuitive attempt to remedy the lack of actual AI, the enemy constantly gains unfair advantages over you. You'll constantly be outnumbered, and no matter where they shoot, or where they actually are, their shots always hit you! WTF were the developers smoking?!? Reloading weapons also takes way too long, and you get fatigued way too quickly, even when you're walking at a slow crawl.

4. Awful collision detection further adds to the already extreme frustration of this game. Some enemies can take a single shot before dying, while others take a nearly infinite punishment, no matter what if you shoot them in the head or not. Enemies are also capable of moving and shooting through walls and cover (even though you can't), and you'll miss some jumps in the platforming sequences due to the fact that you can fall through some platforms.

5. The shooting mechanics are awful. The weapons are no fun to use, and generally don't act much different from one another (aside from the obvious differences). For instance, since the assault rifle already has pinpoint accuracy, there's absolutely no reason to use the sniper rifle. Also, since there's no limit to the amount of ammo you can carry, you'll often find yourself with absolutely ridiculous amounts of ammo and grenades.

6. Platform sequences are made extremely frustrating due to awful collision detection (see above) and imprecise controls.

7. The developers were so lazy, some textures and sounds were taken straight from the No One Lives Forever games!

It's not like this game would've been any good if it were released ten years ago, anyways. The gameplay in Terrawars is absolutely god-awful regardless of the time and age it's developed in, and since gameplay is what matters the most in any game, Terrawars still would've been the worst game ever made if it were released 10 years ago. Besides, Star Wars: Dark Forces and [/i]Duke Nukem 3D[/i] were released in that same era, and the production values of both titles are far superior to those in Terrawars. As if it isn't clear up to this point: Avoid this game at all costs, even if it's free!!!

Amakou
09-10-2006, 10:00 PM
Ouch...someone didn't like this game...lol...

I've never heard of it, so I can't say...but I just checked IGN and Gamespot.

IGN: Terrawars - 2
[http://pc.ign.com/articles/727/727583p1.html]

Gamespot: Terrawars - 2.6 (Terrible) [http://www.gamespot.com/pc/action/warforterranyinvasion/review.html]

Couldn't help but laugh at that...

~Amakou~

NutWrench
09-10-2006, 10:18 PM
Wow. Even worse than Breed?

Do NOT play Terrawars!

It's a deal! :D

d3ad connection
09-10-2006, 10:24 PM
Terrawars is without a doubt the worst game to ever see the light of day

I read in GameInformer once that the worst game ever is Dr Jekell and Mr. Hyde for the NES. All you could do was hit birds with a stick (lol!)

big fat lazy
09-10-2006, 10:25 PM
Why are you playing all these crappy budget titles in the first place?

d3ad connection
09-10-2006, 10:27 PM
Why are you playing all these crappy budget titles in the first place?

Because some are pretty good (Alien Hominid)

big fat lazy
09-10-2006, 10:50 PM
I know, but you would think he would read some reviews of these games before buying them.

avatar_58
09-10-2006, 11:05 PM
Look buddy - I have an idea for you: If you can't find a single review (major website or not) that says the game is worth your time, then don't buy it. Seriously Terrawars? What are you going to review next, The Adventures of My Little Pony? What did you expect?

Mongorian
09-11-2006, 02:03 AM
What are you going to review next, The Adventures of My Little Pony?

I hear that game is pretty nice.

Hyperactive Slob
09-11-2006, 02:37 AM
I read in GameInformer once that the worst game ever is Dr Jekyll and Mr. Hyde for the NES. All you could do was hit birds with a stick (lol!)
Well here's the Angry Nintendo Nerd review of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6M_4Yqk65f8)(Warning: Strong Language). You guys should watch his other review's also. :p

Karthik
09-11-2006, 03:27 AM
OMG, check out the shader effects in this shot:
http://img.gamespot.com/gamespot/images/2006/206/reviews/931642_20060726_screen007.jpg

Paroxysm
09-11-2006, 04:18 AM
Do NOT play Terrawars!

I dont' think anyone was going to anyway. The real matter here is why did you!?

Odin
09-11-2006, 07:16 AM
Do NOT play Terrawars!

I'd find a pic of Jesus saying "Thanks for the Info!" but I'm on a school computer and all of those sites are blocked.

Foxy
09-11-2006, 07:53 AM
All these threads do is make me WANT to play the game in question to see how hilariously bad it is. :p

Wamplet
09-11-2006, 09:23 AM
Look buddy - I have an idea for you: If you can't find a single review (major website or not) that says the game is worth your time, then don't buy it. Seriously Terrawars? What are you going to review next, The Adventures of My Little Pony? What did you expect?

Hey now, Barbie's Wild Horse Rescue is 5 times better than both of those games, :tinyted:

crunchy superman
09-11-2006, 09:58 AM
Do NOT play Terrawars!

. . . ok

Hudson
09-11-2006, 10:54 AM
I dont' think anyone was going to anyway. The real matter here is why did you!?

Yeah, he must really hate himself or something.

Maybe you should save all this money you're wasting on crappy budget games and buy something good.

It's not like anyone really pays attention to your reviews anyway.

jimbob
09-11-2006, 11:08 AM
OMG, check out the shader effects in this shot:
http://img.gamespot.com/gamespot/images/2006/206/reviews/931642_20060726_screen007.jpgneat, the only special effect is an corona \o/

Hudson
09-11-2006, 11:27 AM
A corona that was probably doctored in after the shot was taken ;)

Wamplet
09-11-2006, 01:23 PM
Wow, that's the first time I have seen a level nearly made up of nothing but crates. :o

And the sky is pretty good. I like the whole "filled with the blood of my enemies" effect. :o

jimbob
09-11-2006, 01:37 PM
wel, when i look at the general textures i cant help but think they must have ripped those models someplace because they look way to good in comparison.

Dave-ros
09-11-2006, 03:00 PM
Oh no, not another one :doh:

Who thinks we should make a single thread for all of Spartan's reviews of obscure budget titles no-one will ever play?

Oh, and hey guys, do NOT play Big Rigs ;)

LeadBullet
09-11-2006, 04:43 PM
So 5 years and $50,000,000 and thats all they could come up with?

Spartan_234
09-11-2006, 06:19 PM
Yeah, he must really hate himself or something.

Maybe you should save all this money you're wasting on crappy budget games and buy something good.

It's not like anyone really pays attention to your reviews anyway.

No, I played the Terrawars demo. Obviously, that means that I did NOT spend my $20 on this atrocity of a game. As for all those crummy budget titles I reviewed on the Xbox, I just rented them, so I never really wasted money on budget titles in the first place.

And no, I don't hate myself or anything. I really like my life, just like you probably do. I just play these crappy games so that you don't have to (or, more likely, so that you'll play it anyways so you can see how awful video games have gotten lately).

avatar_58
09-11-2006, 07:28 PM
so you can see how awful video games have gotten lately

What? You are reaching to the bottom of the proverbial gaming barrel and comparing them to days of old? That doesn't make any sense, why not try spending some real money and get yourself quality titles?

Games haven't "gotten bad lately" you are just looking in the wrong place. I can just as easily pull out hundreds of older pieces of junk and claim gaming was never good. It doesn't make it right.

Telee
09-11-2006, 07:52 PM
Well here's the Angry Nintendo Nerd review of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6M_4Yqk65f8)(Warning: Strong Language). You guys should watch his other review's also. :p

Hahaha!!!! I'm watching all his reviews - I'm laughing my *** off :D :D :D :D

d3ad connection
09-11-2006, 08:38 PM
Hahaha!!!! I'm watching all his reviews - I'm laughing my *** off :D :D :D :D

Hehe I just saw them. Funny stuff :D

Daveman
09-11-2006, 09:10 PM
I just play these crappy games so that you don't have to
But we wouldn't be buying ANY of these games or trying the demos anyway. It just sounds like you enjoy finding things wrong with the game.

Karthik
09-11-2006, 09:16 PM
Actually I'm really starting to enjoy Spartan's "Do NOT play...." reviews. I hope he doesn't stop because of the forum policy or bad publicity from other members here.

Spartan_234
09-11-2006, 09:36 PM
Actually I'm really starting to enjoy Spartan's "Do NOT play...." reviews. I hope he doesn't stop because of the forum policy or bad publicity from other members here.

It's not against the forum rules unless you bash the game unconstructively. You know when people drop in and say "Hey, this game sux a$$!" and don't explain why they hate it so much? That's the unconstructive criticism that I'm talking about. But since I have good reason to bash these games, it's not against the forum rules.

Telee
09-11-2006, 09:47 PM
I have to admit this game looks like sh*t.

Odin
09-12-2006, 07:08 AM
Look for my "How to write a Spartanesque Review" thread soon!

FireFly
09-12-2006, 07:20 AM
It's not against the forum rules unless you bash the game unconstructively. You know when people drop in and say "Hey, this game sux a$$!" and don't explain why they hate it so much? That's the unconstructive criticism that I'm talking about. But since I have good reason to bash these games, it's not against the forum rules.
It's not against the rules to give unconstructive criticism either.

PlayfulPuppy
09-12-2006, 10:14 AM
Ugh, I worked on a game that had a similar quality to this. It looks like they had to deal with similar shit that I had to put up with as well (Non-existant 'fluid' design, lack of people, no time, no concepts).

It's no picnic working on shit like this, it's as close as you'll ever get to hell. However, ours was (Mercifully) cancelled before it could rape the world of its sensibility.

MAT
09-12-2006, 03:03 PM
Well here's the Angry Nintendo Nerd review of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6M_4Yqk65f8)(Warning: Strong Language). You guys should watch his other review's also. :p

that was hilarious. :D

"It's so bad I'm not even going to show it to you" :D

December Man
09-12-2006, 03:19 PM
It's so bad that super glueing your ass hole shut is better.
It's an abomination of humanity.

Telee
09-12-2006, 03:21 PM
It's so bad that super glueing your ass hole shut is better.

;) :D.

Spartan_234
09-12-2006, 04:04 PM
Ugh, I worked on a game that had a similar quality to this. It looks like they had to deal with similar shit that I had to put up with as well (Non-existant 'fluid' design, lack of people, no time, no concepts).

It's no picnic working on shit like this, it's as close as you'll ever get to hell. However, ours was (Mercifully) cancelled before it could rape the world of its sensibility.

I can see a game being crappy for those reasons. Heck, Extreme Paintbrawl was a crappy game because the publishers only gave the dev team two weeks to finish it! Everyone thinks that developers who make those kind of games are totally retarded or something, but sometimes it's the publisher's fault. Why the heck do they have such extreme deadlines anyways?

What was the name of the developer you worked for? Who was the publisher?

Kronx
09-12-2006, 04:52 PM
I seriously doubt this is the worst game to see the light of day. I understand the desire for exaggeration to add color to an opinion, but clearly there are plenty of games that are worse.

PlayfulPuppy
09-12-2006, 07:31 PM
I can see a game being crappy for those reasons. Heck, Extreme Paintbrawl was a crappy game because the publishers only gave the dev team two weeks to finish it! Everyone thinks that developers who make those kind of games are totally retarded or something, but sometimes it's the publisher's fault. Why the heck do they have such extreme deadlines anyways?

In my experience, it's normally because the person negotiating the contract with the publisher is either desperate (They'll take any contract, and do anything to make the publisher happy), or stupid (Completly overconfidant).


What was the name of the developer you worked for? Who was the publisher?

I don't really want to bring up either. Things on the 'net have a bad habit of spreading and then biting you on the ass.

Phayzon
09-12-2006, 07:49 PM
Oh, and hey guys, do NOT play Big Rigs ;)

I want to play that game sooo badly... :(

All these threads do is make me WANT to play the game in question to see how hilariously bad it is. :p

Me too!

Telee
09-12-2006, 07:52 PM
All these threads do is make me WANT to play the game in question to see how hilariously bad it is. :p

Me too!

Me three! :dopefish: