Vampires Suck: the Movie (Twilight Parody)

[wayskobfssae]

It's about friggin' time!

http://www.vampiressuckmovie.com/

[Paroxysm]

For someone to murder Jason Friedberg & Aaron Seltzer? I really don't think you'll find too many objections to that.

[WarThrash]

This another one of those Meet the Spartans type movie parodies? They're as cancerous as the damn twilight movies

[Paroxysm]

Yes that's who Jason Friedberg & Aaron Seltzer are. The directors of
1. Vampires Suck (2010)
2. Disaster Movie (2008)
3. Meet the Spartans (2008)
4. Epic Movie (2007)
5. Date Movie (2006)

You really should learn their names in case you meet them and you happen to have a heavy blunt object nearby.

[thefly]

It's about friggin' time!

http://www.vampiressuckmovie.com/


Who the **** wants to watch that?

[Kalki]

Who the **** wants to watch that?

Guys who can't sit through another vampire movie, apparently.

[Tetsuro]

I'm kinda torn here.

In one hand, Twilight parody. In the other, Seltzerberger. Hmm.

Has anyone seen the porno spoof yet?

[Paroxysm]

I'm kinda torn here.

In one hand, Twilight parody. In the other, Seltzerberger. Hmm.
There's no conflict really. A good parody actually requires a level of appreciation of the source material so if you hate twilight a good twilight parody would still probably annoy you. Now considering this is a Seltzerberger "parody" you can be assured that the level of humour will involve simply mimicking the original content with additional pop culture references. Would it be funny if one of the vampires dressed like lady Gaga? Of course not, there's no joke there but that's the level of humour at work here. So it's a lose either way.

Has anyone seen the porno spoof yet?
Considering the series is tween porn a porno would probably be a pretty good fit. My friend has theorised that werewolves are allergic to shirts. This concept should be expanded upon.

---------- Post added at 03:33 AM ---------- Previous post was at 03:28 AM ----------

Decided to watch the trailer. Well it's good to see my gaga prediction was spot on. Can't we just ******* kill these guys?!

[Tang Lung]

The words 'cancerous tumour on the maggot infested ******* of western society' is thrown around all too often these days..

[Rapture_Rising]

Since Scary Movie 4, all these movies suck and by using all my ESPN skills this movie will suck too.

IMO these movies try to hard to be funny and the end result is just a waste of time and money.

[Kristian Joensen]

For someone to murder Jason Friedberg & Aaron Seltzer? I really don't think you'll find too many objections to that.

I am not really familiar with their work(apparently that is a good thing) but these quotes are hilarious: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jason_Friedberg#Criticism (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jason_Friedberg#Criticism)

[Tetsuro]

There's no conflict really. A good parody actually requires a level of appreciation of the source material so if you hate twilight a good twilight parody would still probably annoy you.
You don't need to appreciate it, just know it. A good Twilight parody would poke fun at all it's glaring errors and you probably could crank a full-length movie out of that.

[WarThrash]

You want a good Parody movie? Take a hint from Mel Brooks. He actually did it right.

[wayskobfssae]

You want a good Parody movie? Take a hint from Mel Brooks. He actually did it right.

I actually got somewhat of a Spaceballs feel from the trailer. The main difference being that they're not just parodying the film, but also the culture surrounding the franchise. And comeon, that totally deserved a parody.

[thefly]

And comeon, that totally deserved a parody.

I disagree. Terrible movies don't really need to be parodied. And there is about a 100% chance "Vampires Suck" will actually be worse than the source material.

Movies like the Twilight franchise are perfect for riffing on MST3K style, but that is about it. And to identify people who need to be "re-educated."

[Kalki]

I actually got somewhat of a Spaceballs feel from the trailer. The main difference being that they're not just parodying the film, but also the culture surrounding the franchise. And comeon, that totally deserved a parody.

The part in the trailer where the 2 fangirls mob Edward was the only bit I found a tad amusing. Now if they were to make a film that truly parodied the culture and the movies, in the vein of (pardon the pun) something like Galaxy Quest, that would be worth watching.

[Paroxysm]

You don't need to appreciate it, just know it. A good Twilight parody would poke fun at all it's glaring errors and you probably could crank a full-length movie out of that.

Perhaps in a few cases but the best parodies I can think of respect their subject matter and made by people who are enjoy the genre not just looking to belittle it. Shawn of the Dead, Hot Fuzz, The is spinal tap, Galaxy Quest, Black Dynamite, Blazing saddles, Scream, Naked gun, Hot Shots, Airplane, Young Frankenstein, etc

[wayskobfssae]

I disagree. Terrible movies don't really need to be parodied.

They do when they make $200M. And that's just one film. A film from what could probably be the most successful franchise in the world - and the novel that started it all was also utter crap.

The part in the trailer where the 2 fangirls mob Edward was the only bit I found a tad amusing. Now if they were to make a film that truly parodied the culture and the movies, in the vein of (pardon the pun) something like Galaxy Quest, that would be worth watching.

Oh wow... that would be pretty cool.

[prophecy holder]

As much as I want a spoof of Twilight, but hearing that Jason Friedberg & Aaron Seltzer are on it dashes all hope of a good spoof movie. These people need to watch Air plane or some Mel brooks movie to learn how to spoof a movie and be funny with it.

[Tetsuro]

You want a good Parody movie? Take a hint from Mel Brooks. He actually did it right.
Or the old Zucker-Abrahams-Zucker movies like Airplane and Police Squad.

As much as I want a spoof of Twilight, but hearing that Jason Friedberg & Aaron Seltzer are on it dashes all hope of a good spoof movie. These people need to watch Air plane or some Mel brooks movie to learn how to spoof a movie and be funny with it.
ZAZ movies would be beyond Friedberg & Seltzer's comprehension. Clearly their concept of "humor" circles entirely around random (bad) celebrity-impersonator walk-ins and potty humor.

Hell, even a movie with nothing but puns as the "comedy" would be funnier than the crap they spew.

[wayskobfssae]

When was the last time there was a feel-good comedy like that? Everything I see these days claiming to be a comedy ends up being either:


Something that would be right at home on the Idiocracy television network
A dramedy that spends more time ripping peoples' hearts out than making them laugh
Some 110% cynical outlook on life that has one funny moment in the entire film (which was probably accidental)

[prophecy holder]

When was the last time there was a feel-good comedy like that? Everything I see these days claiming to be a comedy ends up being either:


Something that would be right at home on the Idiocracy television network
A dramedy that spends more time ripping peoples' hearts out than making them laugh
Some 110% cynical outlook on life that has one funny moment in the entire film (which was probably accidental)


Pretty accurate descriptions of today's so called "Comedies".

[Paroxysm]

When was the last time there was a feel-good comedy like that? Everything I see these days claiming to be a comedy ends up being either:


Look elsewhere then. It's not a small industry.

[Grande 3:16]

Not Another Not Another Movie sounds like it might be interesting - a movie studio contemplates selling out by making a parody movie.

[wayskobfssae]

Look elsewhere then. It's not a small industry.

Sounds like someone's still a bit peeved about my "Facebook Comments".

[WarThrash]

Look elsewhere then. It's not a small industry.
The comedy industry or the good comedy industry? Because the latter is actually quite very small.

[Rapture_Rising]

The sad thing about these movies is the fact that there are vast masses out there who actually find this shit funny. I like a good parody movie but this is just mind numbing sludge that only comes out of hollywood becuase they know it makes money.

One movie that is slowly coming true is Idiocracy.

[Paroxysm]

Sounds like someone's still a bit peeved about my "Facebook Comments".

Actually I've deliberately not brought any of your retarded shit from the other thread in here. There are hundreds, actually thousands of films made each year. If you're unhappy with the movies you're seeing perhaps doing something other than walking down to your largest cineplex and stating "Hello dear ticket salesman! One to the highest grossing film of the week thank you!" would be a good start.

The comedy industry or the good comedy industry? Because the latter is actually quite very small.

It's not that small. Getting sick of hollywood's latest trends? Well thank god almost every country in the ******* world makes movies and most of them make some comedies. Even staying in America there's a plenty of variety. Shop around until you find some humour that you like.

[WarThrash]

It's not that small. Getting sick of hollywood's latest trends? Well thank god almost every country in the ******* world makes movies and most of them make some comedies. Even staying in America there's a plenty of variety. Shop around until you find some humour that you like.

I never said I only watched Hollywood comedies, nor only American comedies (alot of Jackie Chan's stuff was hilarious back in the honk kong days). I still think it's pretty small in amount these days. The only comedy I remember truly laughing at in the last 5 years was Step Brothers....which ironically is an American Hollywood comedy. Go figure.

[prophecy holder]

The sad thing about these movies is the fact that there are vast masses out there who actually find this shit funny.

Therein lies the problem, as long as those idiots keeping throwing money at these so called "Comedies" Hollywood will keep making them.

Most of these movies make Rectuma look like a freakin masterpiece. Oh and your Idiocracy comment is sadly to true.

[Paroxysm]

Therein lies the problem, as long as those idiots keeping throwing money at these so called "Comedies" Hollywood will keep making them.

Exactly. Worse is when people go see them ironically because "they're so awful". If you're going to do it buy a ticket for another movie and then jump cinemas! They don't care if it's ironic it's still a ticket sale!

The idiots will buy into whatever they're sold. Everyone else has no excuse.

[WarThrash]

Exactly. Worse is when people go see them ironically because "they're so awful". If you're going to do it buy a ticket for another movie and then jump cinemas! They don't care if it's ironic it's still a ticket sale!

The idiots will buy into whatever they're sold. Everyone else has no excuse.

Yeah, it's really dumb to pay to see a film because you want to "see how horrible it is". Your only feeding the problem that way. Either wait to see it on TV, jump Cinemas, or, hell, pirate the damn movie for all I care, just don't pay for that garbage.

[Sang]

Aaaah - but what if a movie is so bad it's good? (is not the case for movies made by these guys but you get my drift)

[WarThrash]

I'm a big B-movie fan, and that's not the same thing. I'm speaking about pure garbage like these parody movies by Friedberg and Seltzer, and other crap like Step Up 3D. Movies that think they are funny or cool but fail miserably at it. The thing is with most b-movies or low budget flicks is that they don't try to kid themselves. The movie makers know their film is cheesy and just for fun so they market it as such and usually release it straight-to-video or straight-to-tv.

These shitty parody flicks think that by throwing in some pop culture references, they can hide how horrible their production values are or how lackluster their comedy routines are, by means of getting kids to go "Oh hey that's a joke about Lady GaGa! HAHAHA, Yeah she's weird!" Tell me, how is that content going to be funny a few decades from now, when no one knows who the hell Lady Gaga is or was? Mel Brooks films, the evil dead films, and many others were all low budget and b-grade but they have comedy styles and content that still shine to this day.

[Paroxysm]

Step Up 3D

I have to admit I think that looks hilarious. It's like Friday the 13th 3d where people suddenly start juggling apples at the camera and the like for no reason what so ever. EXTREME HANDS AT THE CAMERA!

[edit] I just went and watched the trailer. LASER SHIRTS!

[WarThrash]

Yeah, when I see the previews of that movie, I think of what it will be like many years from now. The dance moves and style of the film are all hip and popular NOW but what about 30 years from now?

Would you like to see a movie these days were everyone is doing The Charleston? Probably not, as that dance style went out in the 20s or 30s. When these dance styles go out, it'll be the same thing. The movie will be rendered useless.

STEP UP 1920!!!!
http://i622.photobucket.com/albums/tt301/Turmaline/Animated%20gifs/Charleston.gif

[Paroxysm]

I would if it had a crazy gimmick like scratch and sniff cards.

Although I think you're a little harsh. The dancing itself is fine and just because the style will go out of fashion that doesn't make it worthless... it's everything else that makes it trash. :P

[WarThrash]

The dances themselves are just part of the problem.

It's the whole 3D capitalization that I hate the most. It's a movie that is being made for the sake of of being 3D. You brought up Friday the 13th part 3, and look at how silly and ridiculous that movie is. Of course f13 pt 3 had a saving factor, and that was the fact that it had creative kills and actually added to the Jason Voorhees character by giving him his iconic mask on that particular outing. Other than that, it's almost unbearable to watch.

[Paroxysm]

Oh I think 3D is utterly pointless. I just love when films are so hilariously blatant about trying to cram in 3d content. I'm not going to see Step Up 3D, I just think it's funny :)

I am going to see Pirahna 3D though because Alexandre Aja + Christopher Llyod + gratuitous violence and nudity + terrible 3D is a winning combination.

[WarThrash]

I'll admit Pirahna has some great gore. I saw some youtube footage from Comic-Con. It's pretty much a senseless bloodfest, which is good, but I can't see myself seeing it in theaters.

If the films are so blatant with the 3D effects in a tongue in cheek kind of way, much like pirahna, then it's actually excusable as long as the 3D isn't the main selling point of the film. Pirahna has 3D + Gore + Nudity as it's selling points. Step Up 3D on the other hand seems to be using the 3D effects as a crutch

[Paroxysm]

I don't actually think we're debating anything. Well other than me finding contrived excuses for 3d hilarious :P

[wayskobfssae]

This retro-active 3D tech that's now being employed exists for one purpose: to get us to buy all the movies (which we bought on VHS, and then on DVD, and then on Bluray) we already own... again.

[WarThrash]

This retro-active 3D tech that's now being employed exists for one purpose: to get us to buy all the movies (which we bought on VHS, and then on DVD, and then on Bluray) we already own... again.

True. I've also noticed that blu-ray versions of newly released movies contain all the special features now, whereas the new releases on DVD versions are barren and contain little to no features at all. They are starting to make all of the Collector's Editions exclusively to Blu-Ray as well.

[wayskobfssae]

Heh, and coincidentally, this just came up on yahoo front page. (I think the 3D talk is going to need its own thread)

http://finance.yahoo.com/news/Resistance-Forms-Against-nytimes-2426303374.html?x=0&.v=1

[Rapture_Rising]

I think 3D has potential but at the moment 3D is just a gimmick that sell movie tickets, I think the only up and coming movie that could redeem 3D is the new Tron.

[Hudson]

For someone to murder Jason Friedberg & Aaron Seltzer? I really don't think you'll find too many objections to that.

Yes they need to be poisoned, stabbed, shot, hung, stretched, disemboweled, drawn and quartered, then placed in a fire for good measure.

[prophecy holder]

Imagine if porn had 3D theatres, Oh look he is blowing his load on the audience.

:goggles:

[DarthGizman1]

http://contest.disastermovie.org/?page_id=182 (http://contest.disastermovie.org/?page_id=182)

This guys reviews are funnier than the movies.

Even the old crew of the Naked Gun's and that era have turned to the shitty Mega Spoof.

These guys might have been funny once but they sure as hell aren't anymore. The have lost all their marbles cause they even try to spoof comedies, COMEDIES!

Watching these you also understand why MAD TV got canceled.

[wayskobfssae]

Imagine if porn had 3D theatres, Oh look he is blowing his load on the audience.

:goggles:

You just need Madonna in those cone-shaped bra things and she can poke your eyes out.

[WarThrash]

I found a picture of Friedberg and Seltzer....who knew

http://turbo.inquisitr.com/wp-content/2010/07/Beavis-Butthead-Returns.jpg

[Paroxysm]

These guys might have been funny once but they sure as hell aren't anymore. The have lost all their marbles cause they even try to spoof comedies, COMEDIES!

Considering the launch of this current wave of shit began with Scary Movie sending up Scream you knew no that one involved was really thinking it through.

[WarThrash]

I'll admit, Scary Movie 1 & 2 had moments, but then again the Wayans were involved in those outings.

[Paroxysm]

They were better than all the other shit but their basic premise of parodying a parody shows a distinct lack of thought or at the least disdain for the audience.

[bazboyz]

Mel Did do a kinda spaceballs series http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a1FwpLozop8&feature=related

[DarthGizman1]

The main problem with this particular spoof is that you are going to see it cause you hate Twilight, but you probably didn't see Twilight so you won't get the jokes.

Are any twilards going to want to see this? Doubtful.

This movie is gonna be one long running gay/emo joke.

[wayskobfssae]

Mel Did do a kinda spaceballs series http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a1FwpLozop8&feature=related

And most everyone I've talked to who has seen it said it was crap. Though whether or not that was Mel's fault is anyone's guess. It seemed to be a rehashing of the film rather than a prequel or sequel story. And well... did he do anything after Dracula Dead and Loving It (which for some odd reason had very little in it that was genuinely funny) besides The Producers on Broadway (which wasn't a new idea)?

The main problem with this particular spoof is that you are going to see it cause you hate Twilight, but you probably didn't see Twilight so you won't get the jokes.

I hated the Twilight hype before I'd seen the film. I still gave the film a chance though. It proved to be even worse than what the haters typically complained about.

[prophecy holder]

I hated the Twilight hype before I'd seen the film. I still gave the film a chance though. It proved to be even worse than what the haters typically complained about.

Practically every male of all ages hated the books and movies without reading or watching them from the get go. It had all components of epic fail that it made a lot of people just walk away from it.

Highschool + emo girl + sissy vampires + romance = male repellent.

[Paroxysm]

Also the fact there is practically no plot. I have to say I enjoyed watching the first film with my partner and her sisters though. So much infectious laughter. *blank stare* *blank stare* *guitar solo*

Second film didn't have anywhere near the laugh ratio :(

[bazboyz]

Blade v Twilight
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6gu7jsgjUM0&annotation_id=annotation_143638&feature=iv
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t3c3E9CaUck

[wayskobfssae]

This is even better. Buffy vs. Edward. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RZwM3GvaTRM

[prophecy holder]

I officially join team blade.

[DarthGizman1]

I hated the Twilight hype before I'd seen the film. I still gave the film a chance though. It proved to be even worse than what the haters typically complained about.

I have few rules when it comes to Media though i do believe to criticize you need to have seen it at least. not in the case of Uwe Boll and shit that does not apply to me.

Twilight does not apply to me or most males. It's a book written by a woman for girls to lust over. In fact, vampires in general are mostly for women.

[peoplessi]

This retro-active 3D tech that's now being employed exists for one purpose: to get us to buy all the movies (which we bought on VHS, and then on DVD, and then on Bluray) we already own... again.

It's a rape. You can't magically turn a movie into stereoscopic(later referred as 3D) if it wasn't meant to be like that from the beginning. Well you can, but it looks horrible. It's a gimmick when done wrong. There are more bad examples of it being used than good ones. retro-active 3D is a disease that should be killed with fire.

There are so many new films that added 3D at the last minute, and yeah, it's bad.

[prophecy holder]

I have few rules when it comes to Media though i do believe to criticize you need to have seen it at least. not in the case of Uwe Boll and shit that does not apply to me.

Twilight does not apply to me or most males. It's a book written by a woman for girls to lust over. In fact, vampires in general are mostly for women.

http://listverse.files.wordpress.com/2008/04/nosferatu-tm.jpg

Sexiest of them all

[WarThrash]

Second sexiest of them all

http://www.chrismueller.net/Pictures/misc.%20projects/235px-Selene_(Underworld).jpg

[Da_Lurker]

This thread is very interesting, you got me there and I read it all :D

Very interesting comments regarding Vampires Suck. I'm glad to see I am not the only one that hates their previous works (Epic Movie was probably the biggest epic fail I've ever rent on DVD).

Regarding the current 3d technique,. I just hate the idea of it. I wear glasses and the idea of another pair of them just seems painful enough for my eyes. And it's not a lot better in practice, from what I've heard (Never went to see a "3D" movie yet, and hopefully I'll never will with the current state of this tech).

I hope consoles like the 3Ds really helps it to work without glasses at all. Ok....I kinda missed the original point of the thread. :P

[wayskobfssae]

Twilight does not apply to me or most males. It's a book written by a woman for girls to lust over. In fact, vampires in general are mostly for women.

There are chick flicks out there that are actually GOOD too though. It's pretty sad when you have a story about what traditionally are terror creatures and you can't find a way to include the male audience.

[prophecy holder]

There are chick flicks out there that are actually GOOD too though. It's pretty sad when you have a story about what traditionally are terror creatures and you can't find a way to include the male audience.

You can't make a movie about a watered down romance novel for tweens and have it interesting for the male audience. Same goes with most chick flicks, they are all the same. Strong willed girl meets handsome guy, handsome guy treats her like crap. She moves on and finds an average guy, they talk and do stuff while falling in love with eacother. Then Oh no, something happens that makes them break up. Then we have several minutes of them reminiscing about the past and start falling in love with eachother again and they overcome thier differences and stay together.

As for action movie chick flicks...What did Arnold die or something?

*Switches channel*
Welcome to womens professional...
*switches channel*

[wayskobfssae]

You can't make a movie about a watered down romance novel for tweens and have it interesting for the male audience. Same goes with most chick flicks, they are all the same. Strong willed girl meets handsome guy, handsome guy treats her like crap. She moves on and finds an average guy, they talk and do stuff while falling in love with eacother. Then Oh no, something happens that makes them break up. Then we have several minutes of them reminiscing about the past and start falling in love with eachother again and they overcome thier differences and stay together.

Oh comeon, Twilight even had a grand opportunity to redeem itself in the last half hour. And it spends an eternity building us up to what seems like its going to be this epic showdown, and when we finally get to it, it ends up looking like a crew of highschoolers trying to repliciate the Matrix, and then we don't even get the pleasure of actually seeing the evil vampire being slain.

Anyway, Buffy made it work. That show was overflowing with teenybopper drama, but still found plenty of time for the really cool stuff.

[WarThrash]

As for action movie chick flicks...What did Arnold die or something?


If it's got Uma Thurman or Michelle Rodriguez I'll watch it. Michelle looks badass in Machete. She's a gunslinging eyepatch lady that drives a Taco Truck. Awesome.

Kate Beckinsale too but ONLY in the Underworld movies...screw everything else she's in.

[prophecy holder]

If it's got Uma Thurman or Michelle Rodriguez I'll watch it. Michelle looks badass in Machete. She's a gunslinging eyepatch lady that drives a Taco Truck. Awesome.

Kate Beckinsale too but ONLY in the Underworld movies...screw everything else she's in.

The premise around Underworld was interesting, but what ruined for me was the mutant chiwawa monsters...er...Lycans. They just look to silly, the classic wolfman monster (Which imo is not only better looking but a deeper creature) style would of been a better choice than that.

Kill Bill is an awesome film series, I'll give you that. There is just not a lot of convincing female action stars imo. Most look like they are forcing themselves while others look like they are only thier for the eye candy. I can name a couple of them that are fun to watch:

milla jovovich
Sigourney Weaver
Uma thurman

The rest just reside into personal tastes.

[WarThrash]

The premise around Underworld was interesting, but what ruined for me was the mutant chiwawa monsters...er...Lycans. They just look to silly, the classic wolfman monster (Which imo is not only better looking but a deeper creature) style would of been a better choice than that.

When it comes to werewolves, I much more prefer the "wolfier" versions. Underworld 2 had some of the best ones I've ever seen. I never liked the Universal Wolfman design because he still had visible humanity traits left within him. I think the wolfier the better.

The best design I've ever seen is on a movie called "Bad Moon":

http://www.wearysloth.com/Gallery/ActorsK/34597-25712.gif

http://tfdimension.com/images_overig/Bad_Moon_TF.jpg

[prophecy holder]

Wartrash, you are like my little brother. The more they look like a wolf the better he says. However he likes the Van heilsing (Hugh jackman) version of the werewolf.

[WarThrash]

Wartrash, you are like my little brother. The more they look like a wolf the better he says. However he likes the Van heilsing (Hugh jackman) version of the werewolf.


um...THRASH, not trash. ;)

Don't get me wrong though, I don't like quadruped werewolves (that walk on four legs), and they must be frikkin huge too. If they get too much like a wolf then they look like that lame "Twilight" werewolf, that isn't even a werewolf at all, but rather just a completely normal wolf. That's not very imaginative at all.

[DerricktheW]

um...THRASH, not trash. ;)

Don't get me wrong though, I don't like quadruped werewolves (that walk on four legs), and they must be frikkin huge too. If they get too much like a wolf then they look like that lame "Twilight" werewolf, that isn't even a werewolf at all, but rather just a completely normal wolf. That's not very imaginative at all.

The vampires f***ing sparkle, what were you expecting? :D

[wayskobfssae]

Wartrash, you are like my little brother. The more they look like a wolf the better he says. However he likes the Van heilsing (Hugh jackman) version of the werewolf.

That has been my favorite werewolf too. In fact it's the ONLY time I've seen a werewolf that looks the way I've envisioned them.

The premise around Underworld was interesting, but what ruined for me was the mutant chiwawa monsters...er...Lycans. They just look to silly, the classic wolfman monster (Which imo is not only better looking but a deeper creature) style would of been a better choice than that.

Totally agree. I hated Underworld for what it did to the wolves. Vampires have ALWAYS gotten the better end of the stick, tons of development over the years have turned a classic Hollywood monster into very interesting characters with as much personality as any human. Werewolves have gotten very little, if any love, and Underworld even went as far as to make them into mindless sewer-dwelling scavengers (not to mention ugly and stupid-looking), so there was absolutely no doubt whatsoever as to who the 'good guys' were.

Underworld would have been much more interesting as an open-ended story that left it up to the audience which side they chose, rather than blatantly forcing the decision down our throats.

I want to see a Vamps vs. Weres movie based in White Wolf's World of Darkness universe... but of course it'll never happen.

Don't get me wrong though, I don't like quadruped werewolves (that walk on four legs), and they must be frikkin huge too. If they get too much like a wolf then they look like that lame "Twilight" werewolf, that isn't even a werewolf at all, but rather just a completely normal wolf. That's not very imaginative at all.

Sadly, those are among the cooler werewolf designs, just for having tons of hair and looking really massive.

[WarThrash]

Totally agree. I hated Underworld for what it did to the wolves. Vampires have ALWAYS gotten the better end of the stick, tons of development over the years have turned a classic Hollywood monster into very interesting characters with as much personality as any human. Werewolves have gotten very little, if any love, and Underworld even went as far as to make them into mindless sewer-dwelling scavengers (not to mention ugly and stupid-looking), so there was absolutely no doubt whatsoever as to who the 'good guys' were.

Underworld would have been much more interesting as an open-ended story that left it up to the audience which side they chose, rather than blatantly forcing the decision down our throats.


Umm...Have you actually watched the Underworld films in depth? Because to say that the vampires are the good guys and the wolves are the bad guys is definitely a wrong assessment. Sure, at first the werewolves appear to be the bad guys as do the vampires appear to be the good guys, but as the story progresses and the past of the war these creatures are having gets delved into, the view on who is bad and who is good really start to shift. Especially by the third film.

Really, they don't shove the decision down your throats, as there are actually good and bad characters on both sides.

[Xgthug]

The only vampire I ever liked is Nosferatu.
My favorite werewolf design is the Werewolf in Monster Bash.

I remember when I was a little boy, I had a book about werewolves, and I would always bitch about how gay the Wolf-Man was, and how he wasn't a "real werewolf", and how he just looked like some hillbilly who hasn't shaved in awhile.

The Twilight "werewolf", and everything about Twilight, is a f*cking joke. Not a funny joke, either.

[wayskobfssae]

Umm...Have you actually watched the Underworld films in depth? Because to say that the vampires are the good guys and the wolves are the bad guys is definitely a wrong assessment. Sure, at first the werewolves appear to be the bad guys as do the vampires appear to be the good guys, but as the story progresses and the past of the war these creatures are having gets delved into, the view on who is bad and who is good really start to shift. Especially by the third film.

Really, they don't shove the decision down your throats, as there are actually good and bad characters on both sides.

I guess I could go out of my way to check out the 2nd one at some point. The first film I found to be grossly disappointing. There was very little of interest in it. The afore-mentioned werewolf disaster, featuring Matrix Trinity Clone #10578. I must admit the trailer for film #2 seemed intriguing, but the first one was an utter waste of money, so it wasn't much incentive for me to give it another chance.

[Xgthug]

I think I like most of the Wayans Brother's stuff... Scary Movie 1 and 2 were pretty decent comedies...
Even Dance Flick was surprisingly not as bad as I thought it would be.

However, Date Movie, Epic Movie, and all that shit needs to just die.
They just keep getting worse, too.
The new Judd Apatow spoof movie is absolutely ridiculous.

Click this link if you dare. (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1498870/)

How the f*ck do you spoof a comedy?? This is essentially nothing more than a big-budget "I'm on a boat" "parody" you'd find on YouTube.

[NutWrench]

You know, in every folklore version of vampires with which I am acquainted, vampires are filthy, disgusting, undead creatures and the only thing that varies from one legend to the next is exactly HOW disgusting.. This whole, "sexy vampire" thing is entirely the creation of modern fiction writers and has gone on entirely too long, in my opinion. It also completely contradicts how people in the middle-ages actually saw vampires.

[wayskobfssae]

You know, in every folklore version of vampires with which I am acquainted, vampires are filthy, disgusting, undead creatures and the only thing that varies from one legend to the next is exactly HOW disgusting.. This whole, "sexy vampire" thing is entirely the creation of modern fiction writers and has gone on entirely too long, in my opinion. It also completely contradicts how people in the middle-ages actually saw vampires.

Unfortunately, far too many people have found the whole quenching one's thirst for blood thing to be a perfect metaphor for primal urges found in human beings, and then BOING! Vampires became a sex symbol.

It also doesn't help that in many cases, Vampires, through charm magic, were able to make themselves irresistible, and lure beautiful virgins back to the lair for a midnight snack. It's probably just been drilled into the audience now that they're supposed to be attracted to these creatures. There certainly can't be that many people out with a fetish for being bitten so hard that they bleed.

[Rapture_Rising]

There certainly can't be that many people out with a fetish for being bitten so hard that they bleed.

You would be surprised how many retards are out there.

[Damien_Azreal]

um...THRASH, not trash. ;)

Don't get me wrong though, I don't like quadruped werewolves (that walk on four legs), and they must be frikkin huge too. If they get too much like a wolf then they look like that lame "Twilight" werewolf, that isn't even a werewolf at all, but rather just a completely normal wolf. That's not very imaginative at all.

I maintain that the "wolf pack" in the Twilight series are NOT werewolves. IMO... they are shapeshifters that can only transform into a wolf.

To call them werewolves is insulting to the werewolf genre IMO.

[Kalki]

I maintain that the "wolf pack" in the Twilight series are NOT werewolves. IMO... they are shapeshifters that can only transform into a wolf.


That's revealed in the final book of the series. They are shapeshifters.

Also:

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_mhAfYZI_eFY/RcKYEKZnI9I/AAAAAAAAASU/fmkcBeTIPTU/s400/teenwolf3.JPG

[DerricktheW]

Its revealed in the second movie



Don't ask how I know that

[WarThrash]

That's revealed in the final book of the series. They are shapeshifters.

Also:

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_mhAfYZI_eFY/RcKYEKZnI9I/AAAAAAAAASU/fmkcBeTIPTU/s400/teenwolf3.JPG

That's not a werewolf, that's a ZZ Top member

[Tetsuro]

There are chick flicks out there that are actually GOOD too though.
Gone With the Wind?

[DerricktheW]

The first 10 minutes

http://chomikuj.pl/Gryzeldunia?fid=323738842

The comedy is a tad bit improved.

[Sang]

The comedy is a tad bit improved.

Really? Cause I stopped watching after 2 minutes.

[Paroxysm]

Just saw Four Lions. So depressing that almost no one will see or even hear of that awesome comedy and morons will flock to Seltzerberger's anal leakage in droves.

[SpamViking]

Spill.com's in depth review of "Vampires Suck". Pretty insightful actually, and accurate. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wX_o4d6tdtM)

[Rapture_Rising]

Spill.com's in depth review of "Vampires Suck". Pretty insightful actually, and accurate. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wX_o4d6tdtM)

That sums it up pretty nicely, :D