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Ridiculous Team Fortress 2 achievements

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Posted 08-05-2009 at 06:53 AM by December Man
Updated 05-05-2010 at 08:54 AM by December Man (Added a note on [B]Borscht Belt[/B])

I've been playing TF2 for a couple of months now. The game has a lot which other online games don't, including the weapon unlocks, hats and achievements(which, on a PC, are rare). I personally like achievements and like obtaining them, but some of them are plainly ridiculous and stray way way from the classes' basic role. The situation has improved a lot lately, but the first class packs were notorious for these kind of achievements. Let's deal with them in order:

Medic pack:

[B] Peer Review [/B]

Kill fifty Medics with your bone saw.

Are you serious? What medic, in their right mind, is going to run around with a bone saw, trying to kill enemy medics, during normal gameplay? If that situation ever happens(like one time in a million years) when 2 medics duke it out without outside intervention, I expect them to use their needleguns.

I got this achievement on a melee-only server and I advise everyone to get it there.

[B]Sawbones [/B]

Hit enemies with your bone saw five times in a row without dying or missing.

Very similar situation as the above.

[B]Placebo Effect [/B]

Kill five enemies in a single life, while having your ÜberCharge ready but undeployed.

If you're gonna try to get this on a normal server, your teammates will absolutely hate you for it. Especially after continually failing to get it which is likely, since medics are the first to get headshotted/backstabbed/grenaded/rocketted etc. etc.

[B]Does It Hurt When I Do This? [/B]

Kill fifty Scouts with your syringe gun.

I think this is supposed to encourage medics to use their syringe guns more often. But scouts? Are you serious? Any semi-decent scout will wipe the floor with a medic. Medics stick with their healing buddies, who should defend their medics at all costs, that's what is due to them.

[B]Big Pharma [/B]

Assist a heavy in killing twenty enemies where neither of you die.

This is actually a very valid achievement, rewarding your and your medic buddies' surviving skills. Problem is, this is incredibly hard to pull off. Nearly impossible, unless both of the parties are coordinated through voice chat and the opposite team sucks balls.

Pyro Pack:


Kill 6 people with your axe in one life.

The Woodcutter achievement(kill 3 people) is pretty easy to do, especially on a melee server. But this one requires more luck than anything else. Or farming stupid spies in 2fort in your base.

[B]Got A Light ? [/B]

Ignite an enemy Spy while he's flicking a cigarette.

After the Sniper/Spy pack spies are required to do the taunt for an achievement, yet still this is very unlikely to happen in a close vicinity of a pyro. Spies do it only on very isolated snipers, just to be sure NOT to be killed during the taunt. It all boils down to INSANE luck.

Heavy pack:

[B]Krazy Ivan [/B]

Kill 100 enemies while both you and your victim are underwater.

The big guy is designed to destroy people on the front lines and you give him an achievement to kill a ridiculous number of people underwater? I have to ask again: are you serious?

I got the achievement on a 24/7 2fort server after around 2 hours of swimming. I came to a conclusion that I wasted 2 hours of my life. Oh, the humanity.

[B]Photostroika [/B]

Provide an enemy with a freezecam shot of you taunting while invulnerable.

Your medic will hate you for wasting an Über. And so will your team.

[B]Borscht Belt [/B]

Kill 10 heavies with The K.G.B.

Suicidal heavy FTL. Look [B]Peer Review[/B].

:edit: This achievement is a chore not only because there is very little chance you're gonna get it through normal play, but also that the use of KGB is forbidden on all melee-only servers due to the crit buff after a kill. I got this one on an achievement server by killing bots.

[B]Division of Labor [/B]

Kill 20 enemies with a Medic assisting you, where neither of you die.

Look [B]Big Pharma[/B].

Scout pack:

I don't have any real complaints about the scout achievements except that most of them take a long time to obtain. However, one of them is really hard to pull off.

[B]Quick Hook [/B]

Kill a player in Well before the round starts.

From what I know, this is nearly fricking impossible. If you know the map, you know why. Again, INSANE luck required(or stupidity of a member of the opposite team).

Sniper/Spy pack is perfect, since all achievements come from natural gameplay without the need of some arbitrary conditions. I hope this tendency will continue on with the next class packs.

That's all I have to say for today.
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