Scenarios that Duke would probably never be in

Admiral Stalfos19 · 11-07-2007, 11:31 PM

Hey guys, I made this thread so you can submit scenarios that you don't expect Duke to be in any time soon.

Here's an example of a scenario

Pig Cop: Be vewy vewy quiet, I'm hunting for humans

Duke walks by

Pig Cop: There it is!

Pig Cop shoots Duke with the shotgun

Duke: Hey, WTF?

Pig Cop: You just got pwned, sucker. I repeat, PWNED!!

Duke: STFU

I will submit more examples as I think them up

ticknswisted · 11-08-2007, 01:17 AM

I'm sure we wont see Duke:

Raising his pinky while sipping a 'low-fat skim moca latte'.
Drinking a 'low-fat skim moca latte'.
Groveling for mercey.
Taking a bubble bath.

?

Micki! · 11-08-2007, 01:25 AM

Duke, Discussing politics, and using reasonable discussing methods get to a valid point, and win a huge debate in no kind of violent manner, and become Govenour, and release games where you have to fill out his paper work, assignments and contracts...

vcatkiller · 11-08-2007, 03:06 AM

Scenarios that Duke would probably never be in? Duke Nukem Forever!

Ok, I can't imagine Duke:
-stopping to recite his favourite Shakespeare passage while handing a dainty rose to a conservatively dressed woman, while respecting her for her mind.

-gardening. Period. Not even cactus plants.

-becoming a kindergarten teacher.

-pledging his loyalties to Dr Proton. Or in fact, anybody.

-becoming Commander Keen's sidekick.

-fighting a 50ft tall fluffy bunny with the Sacred Water Pistol of Hope, to protect the Sacred Cherry Pudding from the Evil Invading Munchkins from the Pink Planet Puff.

Maruno · 11-08-2007, 05:32 AM

"I'm here to kick ass and drink cups of tea. And I'm all out of tea."

HazMat · 11-08-2007, 07:36 AM

Duke signs YMCA during final boss fight.

alexgk · 11-08-2007, 08:59 AM

-Duke sit in front of a computer sending e-mails... Oh, wait a sec.
-Duke at a stripper club... NOT looking at the strippers.
-Duke at a stripper club... GAY stripper club.
-Duke eating his own underwear.
-Duke driving a compact car.
-Duke in a photo next to Jack Thompson... like FRIENDS!!!!11!!1!!one!!11

Tixus · 11-08-2007, 10:27 AM

Duke would never get into a turn-based RPG battle. If he did, though, it'd probably go something like...

ATTACK
SPECIAL
ITEM
[s]RUN[/s]

> SPECIAL
KICK ASS
CHEW BUBBLEGUM

> CHEW BUBBLEGUM
YOU HAVE 0 GUM.

Duke Damnit, I thought they were talking about the other kinda RPG! I'd rather bite my own arms off than sit through one of these!

Heh..now I want to make this.

Skiffer · 11-08-2007, 12:07 PM

Duke would probably never be made to squeel like a pig. :M

alexgk · 11-08-2007, 01:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tixus

> CHEW BUBBLEGUM
YOU HAVE 0 GUM.

I lol'd

.

Blade Nightflame · 11-08-2007, 02:39 PM

Be cacoon'd like the females in DN3D.
Dying.
Give up his life of alien ass kicking.
You know, the usual. :P

vcatkiller · 11-08-2007, 06:35 PM

Duke Nukem Sim Date. Nothing needs to be added.

madhatter man · 11-08-2007, 07:44 PM

I bet im not gonna see anything else beside run here and gun there with the occasional vehicle segment. If you say thats the basic premise of a fps then go play bioshock and be amazed.

Colicedus · 11-09-2007, 03:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Maruno

"I'm here to kick ass and drink cups of tea. And I'm all out of tea."

Hey, thats MY line!

anyway...

One thing I do not think I would see/expect Duke to do is Yiff/flirt with a Chick in a Furry Sute.
(you never saw that one coming)

Working as a team with Domasi Tawodi, Lu Wang, or Max Payne in Forever.
Although I was considering Wrighting a Fan Fic with Lu Wang and Tommy.

vcatkiller · 11-09-2007, 06:19 PM

Duke joining forces with Chris Crocker to defend Britney Spears by wailing "Leave her alone!" in a youtube video.

alexgk · 11-09-2007, 09:02 PM

Quote:

Scenarios that Duke would probably never be in

Inside my brain...

vcatkiller · 11-09-2007, 09:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by alexgk

Inside my brain...

Too many cobwebs and dust bunnys?

alexgk · 11-10-2007, 12:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by vcatkiller

Too many cobwebs and dust bunnys?

.................................................. ................Yes.

The Red Slaughter · 11-10-2007, 11:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tixus

Duke would never get into a turn-based RPG battle. If he did, though, it'd probably go something like...

Fallout?

Hellbound · 11-10-2007, 06:16 PM

Duke In Church

Kalki · 11-10-2007, 11:12 PM

Ok then! George, scrap this level...

alexgk · 11-10-2007, 11:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kalki

Ok then! George, scrap this level...

Actually it's already scrapped

, along with the entire game.

Kalki · 11-11-2007, 12:17 AM

See, George listens to me.

Also: Church in editor. I was looking for this screenshot from Charlie since my last post because I didn't have it.

BJSullivan · 11-11-2007, 12:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kalki

Ok then! George, scrap this level...

Every time I see that picture I get sad because it makes me wonder how cool it would have been to get into that game and shoot those birds, then run into the church and see what's inside. I've always wondered what would be inside that church since the first time I saw that picture, and that was years ago.

Man, right now I would do just about anything to get a playable copy of the unfinished 2001 beta just to see how great the game would have been, even if there was no sound to it (well, one thing I would not do is give up a hand becasue then I wouldn't be able to play it), but we all know that's never gonna happen

Colicedus · 11-11-2007, 03:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kalki

See, George listens to me.

Also: Church in editor. I was looking for this screenshot from Charlie since my last post because I didn't have it.

That Chick in the Corner of that Screenshot... I would not mind playing Video games with her, and by play video games, I mean Have sex.

wieder · 11-15-2007, 08:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Colicedus

That Chick in the Corner of that Screenshot... I would not mind playing Video games with her, and by play video games, I mean Have sex.

Clicky!

Quote:

Originally Posted by BJSullivan

Every time I see that picture I get sad because it makes me wonder how cool it would have been to get into that game and shoot those birds, then run into the church and see what's inside. I've always wondered what would be inside that church since the first time I saw that picture, and that was years ago.

I know what was inside! No matter how hard you guess... you'll never get it right.

Kalki · 11-16-2007, 12:53 AM

You mean apart from the benches, stained glass windows, altar, crucifix (seen in your pic) and perhaps the worm creature that probably took out Gus' mule outside? Hmm... Another Doomed Space Marine? Father Gregori? Or perhaps a Xenomorph?

vcatkiller · 11-16-2007, 06:37 AM

Duke, depending on whether or not you enter the building.

Kalki · 11-16-2007, 08:23 AM

To keep it on topic, you're supposed to be guessing scenarios that Duke would never be in.

Kokoro · 11-16-2007, 01:16 PM

Duke would never be in a scenario like the ones in Crysis.
You know, the engine is too old already.
No, wait! What have I done?!?
DON'T START ALL OVER AGAIN!!!
AAAAAAAHHGGGGG!!!!!

Colicedus · 11-16-2007, 04:08 PM

Duke Would never co-star in Dora The explorer

(Have mercy on us if he did)
Duke Would never be in a british comedy. (exept the the skit: Bitty, but it would not be his Mother or his Nan he gets bitty from, and they would be less reluctant to give it to him. Wait, no... it would Just NEVER HAPPEN!)

Duke would never walk into the light...

HazMat · 11-16-2007, 09:20 PM

Duke would never take it up the a**

Dark Angel · 11-17-2007, 06:21 AM

Duke would never use a double barreled slingshot from Victoria's Secret.

jet jaguar 2.0 · 11-17-2007, 10:24 AM

Duke will never go to a McDonald's and order a salad with a large diet Coke.

Admiral Stalfos19 · 11-17-2007, 10:19 PM

Another scenario that Duke won't be in

Duke asks for a hundful of gum
Store owners says that they don't have gum
Duke pulls some out and 'asks' what it is
Store owners says it's not gum
Duke tries to prove him worng by opening it
Protozoid Slimer jumps from nowhere right onto Duke's face
Store owner says "Told you it wasn't gum"

Erased. · 11-18-2007, 01:38 AM

"Oh! I'm sorry! Did i hurt you? Oh, i'm really sorry there mister, let me take you to the hospital now. Just put your arm around my shoulder, and lean on me. Yeahh thats it. Can you walk? Good. Listen, i'm really sorry mister...."

Steve · 11-18-2007, 01:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Maruno

"I'm here to kick ass and drink cups of tea. And I'm all out of tea."

Haha

Montykoro! · 11-21-2007, 07:18 AM

The game sold in stores?

(Today is 5 years reading the forum

and no DNF sniff )

vcatkiller · 11-21-2007, 02:56 PM

Duke in a frilly waitress outfit at a local diner, working to pay off the total damage bill caused in Duke Nukem 3D. "I'm here to take orders and get tips, and nobody wants to tip!"

11-21-2007, 03:48 PM

Duke Nukem, hero of the world, savior of millions of people, has defeated the aliens once again.

Now, with no one left to kill, Duke takes up a new challenge in the field of proctology.

Duke Nukem, collorectal surgeon extraordinaire, once again saves our people: from the horrors of severe constipation condition.

"C'mon lady, blow it out your ass."

"Gonna' rip 'em a new one."

11-21-2007, 03:48 PM	#40
hellchicken Guest	Re: Scenarios that Duke would probably never be in Duke Nukem, hero of the world, savior of millions of people, has defeated the aliens once again. Now, with no one left to kill, Duke takes up a new challenge in the field of proctology. Duke Nukem, collorectal surgeon extraordinaire, once again saves our people: from the horrors of severe constipation condition. "C'mon lady, blow it out your ass." "Gonna' rip 'em a new one."

11-07-2007, 11:31 PM	#1
Admiral Stalfos19	Scenarios that Duke would probably never be in Hey guys, I made this thread so you can submit scenarios that you don't expect Duke to be in any time soon. Here's an example of a scenario Pig Cop: Be vewy vewy quiet, I'm hunting for humans Duke walks by Pig Cop: There it is! Pig Cop shoots Duke with the shotgun Duke: Hey, WTF? Pig Cop: You just got pwned, sucker. I repeat, PWNED!! Duke: STFU I will submit more examples as I think them up __________________ Duke Nukem just kicks ass and makes no excuses, but is he able to take on The Guardian of all aliens? Find out when Admiral Stalfos gains some valuable programming skills, joins the 3D Realms Team and convinces them to make Duke Nukem: The Harbinger.

11-08-2007, 01:17 AM	#2
ticknswisted	Re: Scenarios that Duke would probably never be in I'm sure we wont see Duke: Raising his pinky while sipping a 'low-fat skim moca latte'. Drinking a 'low-fat skim moca latte'. Groveling for mercey. Taking a bubble bath. ? __________________ -TickNSwisted http://geocities.com/ticknswisted

11-08-2007, 01:25 AM	#3
Micki!	Re: Scenarios that Duke would probably never be in Duke, Discussing politics, and using reasonable discussing methods get to a valid point, and win a huge debate in no kind of violent manner, and become Govenour, and release games where you have to fill out his paper work, assignments and contracts... __________________ A true genius does not need boundaries such as 'common sense' Last edited by Micki!; 11-08-2007 at 07:50 AM.

11-08-2007, 03:06 AM	#4
vcatkiller	Re: Scenarios that Duke would probably never be in Scenarios that Duke would probably never be in? Duke Nukem Forever! Ok, I can't imagine Duke: -stopping to recite his favourite Shakespeare passage while handing a dainty rose to a conservatively dressed woman, while respecting her for her mind. -gardening. Period. Not even cactus plants. -becoming a kindergarten teacher. -pledging his loyalties to Dr Proton. Or in fact, anybody. -becoming Commander Keen's sidekick. -fighting a 50ft tall fluffy bunny with the Sacred Water Pistol of Hope, to protect the Sacred Cherry Pudding from the Evil Invading Munchkins from the Pink Planet Puff.

11-08-2007, 05:32 AM	#5
Maruno	Re: Scenarios that Duke would probably never be in "I'm here to kick ass and drink cups of tea. And I'm all out of tea." __________________ [Pick a number. Any number.]

11-08-2007, 07:36 AM	#6
HazMat	Re: Scenarios that Duke would probably never be in Duke signs YMCA during final boss fight. __________________ George walks over to my chair and ******* stomps the shit out of it until the legs are broken off

11-08-2007, 08:59 AM	#7
alexgk	Re: Scenarios that Duke would probably never be in -Duke sit in front of a computer sending e-mails... Oh, wait a sec. -Duke at a stripper club... NOT looking at the strippers. -Duke at a stripper club... GAY stripper club. -Duke eating his own underwear. -Duke driving a compact car. -Duke in a photo next to Jack Thompson... like FRIENDS!!!!11!!1!!one!!11 __________________ Playable demo this year! Confirmed!!

11-08-2007, 10:27 AM	#8
Tixus	Re: Scenarios that Duke would probably never be in Duke would never get into a turn-based RPG battle. If he did, though, it'd probably go something like... ATTACK SPECIAL ITEM [s]RUN[/s] > SPECIAL KICK ASS CHEW BUBBLEGUM > CHEW BUBBLEGUM YOU HAVE 0 GUM. Duke Damnit, I thought they were talking about the other kinda RPG! I'd rather bite my own arms off than sit through one of these! Heh..now I want to make this. __________________ Someone ever tries to kill you, you try to kill 'em right back. -Mal Reynolds, Firefly

11-08-2007, 12:07 PM	#9
Skiffer	Re: Scenarios that Duke would probably never be in Duke would probably never be made to squeel like a pig. :M

11-08-2007, 02:39 PM	#11
Blade Nightflame	Re: Scenarios that Duke would probably never be in Be cacoon'd like the females in DN3D. Dying. Give up his life of alien ass kicking. You know, the usual. :P __________________

11-08-2007, 06:35 PM	#12
vcatkiller	Re: Scenarios that Duke would probably never be in Duke Nukem Sim Date. Nothing needs to be added.

11-08-2007, 07:44 PM	#13
madhatter man	Re: Scenarios that Duke would probably never be in I bet im not gonna see anything else beside run here and gun there with the occasional vehicle segment. If you say thats the basic premise of a fps then go play bioshock and be amazed.

11-09-2007, 06:19 PM	#15
vcatkiller	Re: Scenarios that Duke would probably never be in Duke joining forces with Chris Crocker to defend Britney Spears by wailing "Leave her alone!" in a youtube video.

11-10-2007, 06:16 PM	#20
Hellbound	Re: Scenarios that Duke would probably never be in Duke In Church

11-10-2007, 11:12 PM	#21
Kalki	Re: Scenarios that Duke would probably never be in Ok then! George, scrap this level... __________________ "Gentlemen, generations to follow will see us as the first pioneers of the internet. They will look upon our days as those of brave spirits and free ideals - where men were men, women were men and children were the FBI." Free Speech

11-11-2007, 12:17 AM	#23
Kalki	Re: Scenarios that Duke would probably never be in See, George listens to me. Also: Church in editor. I was looking for this screenshot from Charlie since my last post because I didn't have it. __________________ "Gentlemen, generations to follow will see us as the first pioneers of the internet. They will look upon our days as those of brave spirits and free ideals - where men were men, women were men and children were the FBI." Free Speech

11-16-2007, 12:53 AM	#27
Kalki	Re: Scenarios that Duke would probably never be in You mean apart from the benches, stained glass windows, altar, crucifix (seen in your pic) and perhaps the worm creature that probably took out Gus' mule outside? Hmm... Another Doomed Space Marine? Father Gregori? Or perhaps a Xenomorph? __________________ "Gentlemen, generations to follow will see us as the first pioneers of the internet. They will look upon our days as those of brave spirits and free ideals - where men were men, women were men and children were the FBI." Free Speech

11-16-2007, 06:37 AM	#28
vcatkiller	Re: Scenarios that Duke would probably never be in Duke, depending on whether or not you enter the building.

11-16-2007, 08:23 AM	#29
Kalki	Re: Scenarios that Duke would probably never be in To keep it on topic, you're supposed to be guessing scenarios that Duke would never be in. __________________ "Gentlemen, generations to follow will see us as the first pioneers of the internet. They will look upon our days as those of brave spirits and free ideals - where men were men, women were men and children were the FBI." Free Speech

11-16-2007, 01:16 PM	#30
Kokoro	Re: Scenarios that Duke would probably never be in Duke would never be in a scenario like the ones in Crysis. You know, the engine is too old already. No, wait! What have I done?!? DON'T START ALL OVER AGAIN!!! AAAAAAAHHGGGGG!!!!!

11-16-2007, 04:08 PM	#31
Colicedus	Re: Scenarios that Duke would probably never be in Duke Would never co-star in Dora The explorer (Have mercy on us if he did) Duke Would never be in a british comedy. (exept the the skit: Bitty, but it would not be his Mother or his Nan he gets bitty from, and they would be less reluctant to give it to him. Wait, no... it would Just NEVER HAPPEN!) Duke would never walk into the light... __________________ Colicdus: the Chainsaw master was here

11-16-2007, 09:20 PM	#32
HazMat	Re: Scenarios that Duke would probably never be in Duke would never take it up the a __________________ George walks over to my chair and ***** stomps the shit out of it until the legs are broken off

11-17-2007, 06:21 AM	#33
Dark Angel	Re: Scenarios that Duke would probably never be in Duke would never use a double barreled slingshot from Victoria's Secret. __________________ Dark Angel Have an AWESOME day!!!

11-17-2007, 10:24 AM	#34
jet jaguar 2.0	Re: Scenarios that Duke would probably never be in Duke will never go to a McDonald's and order a salad with a large diet Coke. __________________ Resident Evil 4 + Orgazmo = Now you're a Mwwwaan!

11-17-2007, 10:19 PM	#35
Admiral Stalfos19	Re: Scenarios that Duke would probably never be in Another scenario that Duke won't be in Duke asks for a hundful of gum Store owners says that they don't have gum Duke pulls some out and 'asks' what it is Store owners says it's not gum Duke tries to prove him worng by opening it Protozoid Slimer jumps from nowhere right onto Duke's face Store owner says "Told you it wasn't gum" __________________ Duke Nukem just kicks ass and makes no excuses, but is he able to take on The Guardian of all aliens? Find out when Admiral Stalfos gains some valuable programming skills, joins the 3D Realms Team and convinces them to make Duke Nukem: The Harbinger.

11-18-2007, 01:38 AM	#36
Erased.	Re: Scenarios that Duke would probably never be in "Oh! I'm sorry! Did i hurt you? Oh, i'm really sorry there mister, let me take you to the hospital now. Just put your arm around my shoulder, and lean on me. Yeahh thats it. Can you walk? Good. Listen, i'm really sorry mister...."

11-21-2007, 07:18 AM	#38
Montykoro!	Re: Scenarios that Duke would probably never be in The game sold in stores? (Today is 5 years reading the forum and no DNF sniff ) __________________ "Those damn PigCops are gonna pay for spreading Swine Flu!"

11-21-2007, 02:56 PM	#39
vcatkiller	Re: Scenarios that Duke would probably never be in Duke in a frilly waitress outfit at a local diner, working to pay off the total damage bill caused in Duke Nukem 3D. "I'm here to take orders and get tips, and nobody wants to tip!"