Fnord of the Rings

One keen to rule them all,
One keen to find them,
One fish to eat them all,
And in the dark digest them,
In the well of wishes where the Dopefish lies.

FNORD

More later, feel free to add on.

LOL!

Now all you need to do is translate it into the Black Speech and engrave it in Tengwar on a ring...

Eat your veggies and write some more!

LOL!

Chapter One: A Long-Expected Party (In Which Many Veggies are Eaten)

When Billy Blaze's crazy Uncle Nick announced that he would shortly be celebrating his fifey-zeroth birthday with a cucumber salad-fest of special stupidity, there were many yawns of boredom and rolled eyes in the household.

So, when the big day finally arrived, there was nobody there except for Billy. Billy didn't particularly like Uncle Nick; he just liked cucumber salad. He didn't know why. However, that left poor Billy to be fair game for one of Uncle Nick's surprisingly idiotic speeches.

"My dear relative," began Uncle Nick rising in his place. He was nearly knocked over by the wave of pure silence. "My dear relative," he began again, "and my dear nephew and brother's son and sister-in-law's son and son's cousin." "You don't have a son," protested Billy. "Son's cousin," insisted Uncle Nick. "Today is my fivey-zeroth birthday, and I hope all five of you are enjoying yourselves as much as I am." Again, the silence was overpowering in its ferocity. "I shall not keep you long." Cheers from Billy. "I don't know half of you half as well as I should like, and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve." Now, this didn't make much sense, as there was only one person. Even if there were five people, that would fix it so that Uncle Billy didn't know 2.5 people all that well. The "2" was okay, but the ".5" was simply unreasonable. "Aw, forget it, goodbye!" Uncle Nick popped open a soda can, took a swig, and promptly exploded in a flash of light and a magnificent belch.

The only surviving artifact of this...display...was the golden (!) soda can...with the top back on! Billy Blaze approached the can and attempted to open the can himself, but there seemed to be something stopping him. "Hmmm, something seems to be jammed in here pretty good," said Billy. While attempting to work the top open, Billy Blaze accidentally activated a hidden holographic message! "De*meep*struction of the *meeeep*ilky Way *eeep*opefish canno*meeep*be stopped. All he *meep* needs in the One Soda Can to dominat*meep* Help me, Jedi Keen, you're my only hope!" Said the faded out version of Princess Lindsey. "Firstly, that's COMMANDER Keen," said Billy Blaze, "and secondly, this looks like a job for...COMMANDER KEEEEEN!" Donning his brother's football helmet and jumping into the Bean-with-Bacon Megarocket, Commander Keen grabbed the One Soda Can and was off on another journey to save the Milky Way!

LOL this is great!!! Write some more!!

Hmm... I'm working on learning Quenya (Elvish Language used on the ring) and if I ever finish, I might be able to get a Tengwar image of the equivilent text.