On the road to becoming a rock star like Charlie, Joe and George!

well im a huge fan of free stuff so i submit to you a couple of jokes
i hope they are to your liking
i got them from some friends in my mailbox the other day
good valentines day jokes
here :

Screw valentines day, Hearts and roses and kisses galore.
What the hell is all that shit for?

People get mushy and start acting queer.
It it definitely the most annoying day of the year.

This day needs to get the hell over with and pass,
Before I shove a dozen roses up Cupid's ass!

I'll spend the day so drunk I can't speak,
And wear all black for the rest of the week.

Girls act all sweet, but it will soon fade,
For all they are doing is trying to get laid!

The arrow Cupid shot at me must not have hit,
Because I think love is a crock of shit.

So here's my story. . . what else can I say? Love Bites my ass. . .
Screw Valentine's Day!


Roses are stupid
Violets are silly
Grease up your flaps
Cos here comes my willy

Roses are red
Violets are finer
Chickens are fowl
just like your vagina

this link came with it too

http://sickjokes.about.com/comedy/si...ty/tester.html

enjoy

if i win, ill take ta kingdons or vampire


------------------
Hemmingway once said :
"The world is a grand place, worth fighting for."
I agree with the second part.

[Delphi Dude]

Originally posted by Ruben3DR:
It would be cool if someone could tell me why the artists, Matt, Brian, Tim, Paul and I are better than the evil programers, mappers and satan himself, George!!!

Well, being a programmer myself I can easily answer that question. You're better because computer programmers are the lowest form of life known to man. Heck, we're so low, the primordial soup crawled out of us.

------------------
I am the rain on your parade.

It's better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all. And me? I should have kept my big mouth shut.

Delphi Dude's Domain, for all your non-essential needs

[bazboyz]

I could tell me why the artists, Matt, Brian, Tim, Paul and I are better than the evil programers, mappers and Satan himself, George programers only make the game work but it down to the artist to make it look good and down to Satan well he cool but he makes your life hell


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a smart man learns from his own mistakes, but a truly wise man learns from other people's mistakes.

Because I've been a good little boy and not trolled the forums.

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[sir_plague]

The only decent game to me in that list is UT, and I have that already.
Ruben, you work for 3DR??!
hehe just kidding of course...

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Ask not what Duke can do for you, but what you can do for Duke!

[Kevin9er]

WOT because nobody else wants it.

I'll trade you WOT for a badass Eo7 CD that misteriously appeared in my mailbox.

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Well I geuss this is growing up.
ICQ 68120843
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[Heihachi]

I'll take T A:Kingdoms, just because the name is a little suggestive.

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Just another point on a line in a plane in a cube.
Mommy WOW!...I'm a FAN BOY NOW!

-Heihachi

First of all Ruben, this is extremely cool of you.

Now, as a member of a software development team, I have first-hand experience working with programmers and artists. In fact, I help manage both. I myself am a coder at heart, but I dabble with Photoshop when I get the chance. What I have learned, is that the artists help keep a project alive. What I mean by that is, when everyone is pulling their hair out to meet a crazy deadline, the artist is the one who does something stupid or outrageous to lighten the mood and ease the tension.

Also, the artist can take the code and make it look beautiful. The greatest tech and the smartest team, still needs help presenting the software in a meaningful way. An intuitive looking gui and beautiful images can make the experience of using software for the first time much easier. Plus, it provides familiarity. One can predict the function of an object based upon its symbol, if that symbol is apparent and consistant throughout the project. Artists make that happen.

Other than explaining why artists help show the beauty of a software product, I would like to mention that as a huge gamer, and a fan eagerly awaiting DNF, I must find something to pass the time. I've recently played SOF, and I liked it a lot, but since then, my gaming library hasn't budged. It would be very cool if I could get your copy of Vampire, as I wanted to play it when it came out, and I followed the development a little bit. It seems like the tech is very interresting, and the different locales ages, and alterations of the characters provide excellent opportunity for some unique and truly beautiful art. This is a game I've wanted to see in action for a while, and never got the chance.

Thanks again Ruben.

- Jedi-Orbs

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It's time to kick ass and chew bubblegum... And I'm all outta gum!



[This message has been edited by Jedi-Orbs (edited 01-23-2001).]

[Shakuan]

RUBEN!

I once said...

"Ive never bought any software on earth, and the first one I'll buy will be DNF"

Now send me UT cause if not, you'll make a liar of me...

------------------

Ruben, sweetheart, Im not picky with what ya give me if i win, but i thought you should know that you are by far the sexiest person working at 3drealms, im not just saying that, ive poped wood multiple times looking at your picture and i dont get on the comp right after waking up either! If i had the time ide put up a site completly dedicated to nothing but YOU stating how generous and sexy you are!

------------------
Dnf as forseen in the movie Tremors 2:
"ITS GOING TO BE BIG! BIIIIG!"
"Is it going to be TODAY!"

[Sith]

Ruben, besides being the smartest, funniest, and sexiest 3dr stud, you are also the subject of my Fan site

You see, I care for the smart people in the world. Unlike George, you could have DNF out in 2000 and it be in the same shape it will be when it's done. you're just that smart. You should take george's job. Anyways, UT has been my passion for the past 6 months. I've been playing the demo, but just can't afford the buy the retail. This isn't a story for you to feel sorry for me or anything, but I would greatly appreciate the coolest guy @ 3dr hq giving me something that would truely make me happy. Thanks for considering me. Your loyal fan, Sith.

[Nailed]

Ruben,
You should give me Voyager because I smell worse than you do so you don't have to worry about being tormented by all those with friendly bacteria.

[Ninja]

Ruben, you are better than everyone else at the 3DR team because you're the only person who doesn't look like they're doped out. And you don't look like Joe

------------------

[RollingBrass]

Ruben is a sexy bitch!
.
.
.
What? He's giving away games? Nah, I don't want any of them.

------------------
"Give the guy a gun and he's Superman, give him two and he's God. - Hard Boiled
"Soccer Moms with too much time on their hands will be the death of this country" - George Broussard
"The Communist Manifesto.........not a good name for a boat." - Benjamin Katz

[Tip]

Originally posted by Ruben3DR:
On the Road to becoming a Rock Star like Charlie, Joe and George!!!

WHAT!?
They aren't rock superstars!
You however are. I don't know why you say you are "on the road to becoming...".
You are already a member of one of the biggest bands in the world for cripes sake.
http://www.geocities.com/joe_bloggs_...ubenrocks2.gif

Anyways, after seeing you guys' live show it's obvious all the artists really rule over the code monkeys.
Oh and BTW, I would like the Star Trek game. That is, if I can think of anything interesting to post that might catch your attention.

Tip

Ruben and the Overlords of The Code Monkeys rules!.

------------------

From Joe: That picture was damn funny, but please don't inline half a meg image files. Please URL them, that way people with slow modems don't get stuck waiting for it to load. Thanks.

[This message has been edited by Tip (edited 01-22-2001).]



[This message has been edited by Joe3DR (edited 01-23-2001).]

WOT because nobody else wants it.

I want WoT - and I think somebody else does too. You will NOT get my WoT! NEVAH! Please give me WoT Ruben...

- Buddy

[Pepe]

Are there no real games available, instead of that bunch?

Pepe

ps: if nobody is found you can send me whichever you like

----------------------------

Thats no Gouda (Leslie Nielsen)

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[RollingBrass]

LOL @ gif!
That's good stuff, Tip!

------------------
"Give the guy a gun and he's Superman, give him two and he's God. - Hard Boiled
"Soccer Moms with too much time on their hands will be the death of this country" - George Broussard
"The Communist Manifesto.........not a good name for a boat." - Benjamin Katz

[BADGER]

I hope that is funny enough

BADGER
It flows like the script for Titanic


[This message has been edited by BADGER (edited 01-22-2001).]

[JeremyGritton]

I am horrified by this terrible, pitiful display of nerds sucking up to Ruben.

*takes in a deep breath*

Ruben,

You are the epitome of excellence. You could easily defeat George, Joe, and Charlie in a turtle-deshelling match with one hand tied behind your back.

Where you walk, the little woodland creatures follow and colorful flowers sprout. You continue to amaze me with your god-like genorisity and your killer textures.

So please Ruben, I beg of you, to send me a copy of Vampire : Redemption - because I ... um... Well I can best state my reasons with a quick poem (for your eyes only - everyone else look away!):

Ruben the great, the generous, the mighty,
He's number one in my eyes, even with brown whitey-tighties!
For a game I will trade you a young yodeler named Heidi
Or a copy of my favorite bass tracks by MC Shy-D (early 90's)

You eyes are like pools of clear blue water
Or if they're brown I mean pools of *dirty* water
At your command I would be more than willing to slaughter
Your most hated enemies I would make them cannon fodder

Ruben you are the guiding light in my life,
If you were a woman I'd take you as my wife
You've been there for the great times and helped me through the strife
Actually - even though you aren't a woman I'd take you as my wife

---------------

So Ruben, I hope my poor attempt at poetry can convince you that I am the only true choice for who to give Vampire : The Masquerade : Redemption to.

Remember -

You are the wind beneath my wings.
You are the flicker to my flame.
You are the thunder to my lightning.
You are the water in my bathtub.

Ruben... You complete me

And if all else fails, dear, sweet Ruben :

/me gives Ruben a hearty slap on the ass and a jar of almonds.

-Darktalyn



------------------
"If you can't beat them, join them --- then beat them."

"If you wanna be seen, stand up. If you wanna be heard, speak up. If you wanna be appreciated, shut up."

"This game doesn't build character, it reveals it."

[Locnor]

Oh...sure...I create some art...and now EVERYONE thinks they are a poet...

geeesh!

------------------

[Madness]

Originally posted by Darktalyn1:
You could easily defeat George, Joe, and Charlie in a turtle-deshelling match with one hand tied behind your back.

"turtle-deshelling match" ... that's got to be one of the funniest things I've read in a while. Thanks Darktalyn1, I needed that!



------------------

[George Broussard]

Badger, Tip,

That's FUNNY STUFF!

Keep it up.

------------------
George Broussard, 3D Realms

[superatomic]

Ya baby!!

------------------

[superatomic]

Didn't mean to repeat it

Down flamers down!!
<lol>

------------------


[This message has been edited by superatomic (edited 01-23-2001).]

[JeremyGritton]

Lord Ruben,

Others might say that you are their god, but I have solid proof!! Read below :

In other news, Darktalyn's one and only god Ruben defeated satan himself (also known as George Broussard) YET AGAIN in a turtle de-shelling contest.

Lord Ruben handily destroyed his competition by de-shelling 3 turtles in under 24 seconds.

George Broussard tried for 5 hours to de-shell a turtle before he gave up and played Everquest.





------------------
"If you can't beat them, join them --- then beat them."

"If you wanna be seen, stand up. If you wanna be heard, speak up. If you wanna be appreciated, shut up."

"This game doesn't build character, it reveals it."

RUBEN PLEASE HELP ME!!!

I'm sending this message from deep space, where I'm cloaked and hovering just out of scanning range of a Borg cube.

I had to go to the Vulcan homeworld last night for a meeting with the Author of the upcoming book "Why Texture artists are better than Mappers, Codesmiths, and Satan". The Author of this book is the single most intelligent and influential Vulcan who ever lived.

Anyway, I went to Vulcan, spoke to the Author, and collected the manuscript to take back to Earth for publication, but on the way back, I was attacked by the Borg! The borg left me alone, but only took the only manuscript of this new book! They seem like the codemonkey type and they obviously intend to subverse this work of incredible beauty and power and release a modified version "Why CodeSmiths , Mappers and Satan are better than Texture artists". As you can see, this would be a horrible catastrophe and would turn the world upside down (since everybody knows that texture artists are better in too many subtle ways to name)

Here's where you come in:

What I need to do is infiltrate the borg cube and reclaim this precious manuscript from their evil clutches before they can begin their terrible scheme. The problem is that I have no combat training - Being a Vulcan myself, I'm normally a pacifist and abhore violence. What i need from you is a (signed) copy of the Star Trek Voyager game so that I can use it to train myself for my lone offensive against the Borg. Hopefully with your help I can reclaim this work and bring it to Earth to be published.

If you help me in this small way, I'm sure not only I but the rest of the universe (Except the borg) will thank you.

Live long and prosper.

------------------
"A child's rhyme stuck in my head.
It said that life is but a dream.
I've spent so many years in question
to find I've known this all along."

TooL - Third Eye

------------------

every one is saying gimme, gimme, gimme. Does anyone really know if Ruben actualy have the games. Is it just another joke like GB posting a topic "it's finaly done!" and it was about his pizza being done.

But.......
......gimme WOT, I need another game to play while I wait for DNF.

------------------

[This message has been edited by Dremoanxl (edited 01-23-2001).]

[IwantMORE]

Originally posted by Ruben3DR:
It would be cool if someone could tell me why
the artists, Matt, Brian, Tim, Paul and I are better than the evil programers, mappers and satan himself, George!!!

Apart from the fact that artists are the best people in the world, giving away stuff they don't need (to me), and always thinking of other peple.

The real reason is probably the fact that it is easy to see and apreciate a good piece of art but most people (hopefully) don't see all the bugs that have been fixed, the doors that didn't work and stuff like that which the coders and mappers do.

As for George what does he do? And I always thought that he was Satan


------------------
It's a blast!
I thank you for reading this.

[This message has been edited more than once by IwantMORE (edited 01-05-2021).]

[ShepMode]

Excellent idea Ruben.



I wouldn't mind a copy of either Star Trek Voyager or Unreal Tournament + yours and others autographs on the box!

Thanks a lot!

------------------
For information about ALL LucasArts adventure games: Lucas Adventures
Want a discount with your order?: Burger King Ipswich (In production)

DesktopDollars; paid attention
The future of online advertising...

[smattbac]

Ruben.

oooo arrrr i almost got run over walking home from the pub yesterday.. i could use some comfort.. and elite force would be good comfort

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"But it should be out in 2001" - George Broussard, 3D Realms

Wow... wasn't expecting this response!!!
I am adding another copy of UNreal Tournament to the list. Lucky for you guys, I found it while pursuing some candy that fell under my desk.

When this thread dies or if Friday comes first I will let you guys know who gets what

3DR is lucky to have fans like you guys!!!!!!

------------------

[smattbac]

[Edited to protect the innocent, i.e. me [img]images/icons/smile.gif[/img] ]

[ 09-13-2001: Message edited by: smattbac ]

[Daedalus]

>> Goodnight, sweet dreams.

Yeah, you got the point. Sweet Dreams everybody and kiss your ass goodbye.


------------------
George Broussard: "Nobody here has much of an ego, we just don't like people yelling at us all the time, and offering advice on how to run things. We've done pretty well so far, so we ask for a little patience and trust."
Daedalus: "Damn, your ego and my brain would make up a good team!"

[ShepMode]

Originally posted by Ruben3DR:

3DR is lucky to have fans like you guys!!!!!!

You work for 3DRealms, therefor we are your fans.

And even more-so for this cool thread

------------------
For information about ALL LucasArts adventure games: Lucas Adventures
Want a discount with your order?: Burger King Ipswich (In production)

DesktopDollars; paid attention
The future of online advertising...

[superatomic]

Ruben if you send me Vampire Redemption or UT
I'll continue to make these funny comics!


------------------

[Delphi Dude]

Originally posted by Ruben3DR:
3DR is lucky to have fans like you guys!!!!!!

Quite frankly, I wouldn't like to be my own fan. I scare myself. :P

------------------
I am the rain on your parade.

It's better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all. And me? I should have kept my big mouth shut.

Delphi Dude's Domain, for all your non-essential needs

[ryche]

I'm sorry Ruben, but apparently you don't know how true to topic you really are.



- photo taken from a hidden camera at their last concert.

------------------
ryche

[ryche]

Ok George looks retarded in that pic, Joe looks ok and so does Charlie...such a bad angle to try to work from and I haven't used Paint Shop Pro in months

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ryche